Living with the loss of stillbirth and learning to live in the sunshine of our new normal.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I guess lack of internet is a good excuse for not posting for a few days.
But we're back up. Which means FB. Yay.
We have so much going on in our lives right now, it's hard to stop and find time to breathe. Mike had a blood transfusion yesterday. His doctor is hoping it will help him feel better until we can find the source of his anemia. Which means more testing. More waiting. More worrying. I can say that I am very glad that I got on anti-anxiety medication when I did. Otherwise I would be a hot mess. That being said.. I think the meds are making it so I *can't* freak out. Which is weird. I rarely cry anymore. Which is good, but strange. I also think that the pills aren't reaching into my brain when I'm sleeping. I've been clenching my teeth while I sleep and waking up with a sore jaw and a headache every freaking day. Not cool. I guess even with pills, I have to release stress somehow. The prospect of something being really wrong with Mike is one of the scariest things I've ever dealt with. Not being in control of the situation makes for an unhappy Marinda.

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