Living with the loss of stillbirth and learning to live in the sunshine of our new normal.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A kid by any other name

We're at the zoo. We're sitting in the Aisian Highlands, eating lunch. A small boy, maybe 5 or 6, just climbed up on the barrier fence that's about 3 feet off the ground with a 2 foot fence on top of that- perfectly safe if you're standing on the ground. It's a 10 foot drop from here. His mom glanced up and then got back to her food. As we're sitting in shocked irritation at the lack of parental responsibility, his mom says to his little sister, "Charlotte, eat." It feels like she punched me.

For the record, the kid was within arms reach of me (about 8 feet away from his mom) and if he had leaned over the railing or looked at all like he would actually go over, I would have both grabbed him, and said something to his mom. Instead I sat in quiet distain for someone who has no idea what is going through my mind.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Every once in a while on Pinterest, I will get stuck. I only see pins that will fit on certain boards. Many nights, it's Charlotte's board. Occasionally, I will search her name, just to see what pops up. Tonight that was not a good idea. A photo of a beautiful little girl with blond hair and brown eyes. Someone else's Charlotte. Never mine.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Mike and I got new phones a week ago. If I can actually blog from my phone, I think I can try to update more often. We'll see if this works.