Living with the loss of stillbirth and learning to live in the sunshine of our new normal.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I had a dream last night that I was in Chicago and I was trying to take pictures of a rainbow with a disposable camera. Very strange. But the rainbows were everywhere. They were huge and they were vivid and I couldn't get a single one captured on my little wind up camera.

In other news.. I have a little jewelry box in my closet that my friend gave me when I was Maid of Honor at her wedding. Most of what is in it is Laura's stuff. A set of amethyst earrings and necklace in yellow gold, some Tinkerbell earrings.. But today I re-found my two sterling silver rings that I've had for about 10 years. One is an amethyst and the other is a garnet. Purple was always my favorite color, and garnet has always been my favorite semi-precious stone. So how odd is it that my 2 girls' birthstones are amethyst and garnet? And does this mean we wont have any more kids? Because I only have these two rings? Yes, I wonder and even believe stupid things like that. Sue me.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

For all of October, I ignored this blog.
I had a lot to say, but I didn't say it.
October 15 we did the Walk to Remember (although to be honest, we didn't walk. We hung out and waited for the walk to be over so we could release balloons and go home.)
The other day, Sophia saw a balloon tied to a real estate sign. She said, "That balloon is floating up to Jesus." I told her that we let the balloons go up to the babies who live in heaven with Jesus.
This is Sophia with Charlotte's balloon.
She was playing with her grandpa and another balloon when Charlotte's name was read. I let go of the balloon. A few minutes later she asked where her sister's balloon was, and I told her I let it go. She cried. Mostly because I didn't let her let it go. I wonder how many years it will be before she understands any of this.