Living with the loss of stillbirth and learning to live in the sunshine of our new normal.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

A birthday, a year

My darling Charlotte,
   Another year come and gone.  Hundreds more days without you. 365 sunrises. Millions of heartbeats missed. I have missed your joy.  Your laughter and your tears.  I have missed watching you learn and grow and become a child from the baby I knew. 
   I write this letter to you every day.  You are in my mind every second,  your name stays on my lips with every breath.  Your birthday letters that you will never read,  like my prayers and my wishes,  scattered in the wind.
   Another year we have spent watching our family thrive and grow.  Your sister is becoming a young lady. She is so smart and curious.  I am amazed every day at the way she sees the world.  She is so bright,  despite my darkness.  Your brother is a handful.  He is my wild child, always running and climbing and yelling.  I talked to him about you and he looked surprised.  Do I not bring you into our home enough?  Or was he amused because he knows you?  Do you visit them in their dreams? 
   I wish I could hold your hand one more time.  Kiss your cheeks,  feel your breath on my face.  What I would give to see your eyes looking into mine,  your voice calling my name.  I love you, my sweet baby girl.  I love you wherever you are.  I miss you every day.  I miss you with us.  We are not complete. You are missing from us.  I love you.
  

1 comment:

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