The sun is out today.

Mike had another blood transfusion yesterday. 3 units to replace what he's losing from all of his "issues". Tomorrow he will meet with a surgeon to find out what and when we're getting rid of this crap.

Sophia is having a wild child day. I can barely keep up.

I'm not happy today. I guess it's like yesterday. No reason, I'm just very down.

And what's funny is that on Friday, even after we got the biopsy results- I was in a great mood. My husband has cancer, but life is still livable. We've gotten through the worst things life has to offer. And we will get through this.

And today, Wilson is having surgery to remove his tumor! I wish I could be in NY with his mom, to hold her hand and drink massive amounts of coffee. But instead we've said our prayers and are waiting to hear spectacular news about how well the surgery went. No child should get sick. No child should know what cancer is. No 2 year old should lose their hair with chemo and need a g-tube to get all of their medications.

Today is a day of hope, but I am in serious need of a rainbow.

We should have biopsy results today. We should have had them 4 days ago. Waiting isn't my strong suit.

It's 36 degrees right now. And it's snowing. And my husband of 4 years probably has cancer. 4 years ago today we got married. It was a good day. Good friends, music, food. Great cake. In August we'll have been together for 12 years. And Monday we found out he needs surgery to remove the mass in his colon. He is 32. He is the father of an amazing 2 year old. And our 3 year old who lives in heaven. He is my rock, my strength. He is the center of my heart, and we are going to fight like hell to get him healthy.

I had a dream last night that we were covered in storm clouds. I was driving and I said, "This is a really weird storm." Then the rain started. It felt like we were covered in darkness and there was just small break in the clouds at the edge of the mountains.

Today our world changed again. We will fight this. We will win.

Another beautiful day! The sun is shining, but the wind is making it a little chilly. We went out and did a little bit of work in the yard yesterday. In a couple of weeks, we'll be putting in our first garden! Today is Aiden's birthday. It's hard to believe that 2 years ago we were waiting to meet him. Him mommy is amazing. His daddy is deployed again right now, but his mom is not letting that stop them from having a great summer! Sophia and Aiden are best friends (not to mention cousins) and until Neal comes home safely, they will grow up together and teach each other new things every day!