We recently bought a king size bed. Our old bed was lumpy and bumpy and squishy. As much as I never thought I would have a Family Bed, we've got one. I never in a million years thought that I would be okay with co-sleeping. Before Sophia, I lived in I Would Never World. And co sleeping was part of that world. At this moment, she is in her own room, on her own bed. By the time I go to bed, she will probably have stumbled into my room. I'm okay with it. I love waking up with Sophia snoring next to me. I love how excited she gets on the rare days that all 3 of us wake up at the same time. She giggles and squeals. "Mommy! Daddy!" and silliness ensues. I love hearing her giggle in her sleep. I love comforting her when she is having a bad dream. I love having a bed big enough that I'm not sleeping with my butt hanging off the side.

A few nights ago, I was wide awake while Mike and Sophia slept. Sophia was right next to me, snuggled up with her head on my right arm. The thought occurred to me that there was still plenty of room on the bed. The space between Sophia and Mike at that particular moment was enough that we could have fit another person. I couldn't help think that Charlotte was supposed to be lying there with us. She was supposed to be filling that space. I tried not to daydream too much about it, but I reached over and I laid my hand on the empty spot on the bed that I wished my daughter was laying in. For a few seconds, I allowed myself to picture the four of us snuggled up together. Waking up together on a weekend, giggling. Talking about our dreams, our plans for the day. The four of us.